>’An expectation of deference.’

>“When he has the uniform on, Jim has an expectation of deference. But when he’s not in uniform, he’s just a regular guy.”

I don’t care much about the Henry Louis Gates arrest. I have a feeling he’s pompous and I also am completely sure that the cop give him a harder time because he’s black. But the idea of a cop expecting ‘deference’, that bothers me. Last time I checked, cops are public servants, paid out of taxes. Servants, as far as I can tell, are supposed to give deference, not receive it. Instead, all-too-many cops seem to feel that wearing a badge gives them the right to swagger and push people around. I don’t recall signing that particular contract.

>Birth Control Pills Made You Cheat on Your Girlfriend

>I was fascinated by this article from ‘Psychology Today’ about how strippers who were ovulating made much more money than those who were on the pill.


It made me think about the number of times women have told me that the pill killed their sex drive. They told me that it was confusing to find themselves no longer attracted to men who they’d been in complete sexual harmony with, like having a lover turn into a brother. Men talk about it less but it seems the boyfriends felt the same way.

This would seem to provide an excuse to the wandering male – and yet another source of anxiety for women – but I think it speaks to the danger of the all-too-easy promotion of the pill as a form of birth control. For example, female track athletes on entering college are immediately put on the pill by coaches who don’t want them to get dangerously thin. And most health care will put women on the pill if they ask for contraception – women actually have to ask for an alternative, safer method
like the IUD.

Given the health risks of the pill, this is obviously insane. We’re willing to let pharmaceutical companies control our very make-up as human beings. From sheer convenience, women let themselves be talked into altering who they are on a basic animal level. And what does it mean for relationships when this takes place? Are we willing to agree to have diminished attraction in a relationship to suit some vague, long-term goal? It seems both flippant and dangerous.